Friday, March 2, 2012

Aching Arms, Aching Heart

Joining Gypsy Mama again for Five-Minute Fridays.  I'm really enjoying writing for five minutes flat--no editing, no over thinking or back-tracking.

Today's Word: Ache

My arms ached when I looked to down to see my baby girl for the first time. They desperately longed to hold her. Even if my fingers could simply touch her.

At that time I could do neither.

My heart ached with a deep pain I had never known before. I was a Mom for the first time and while somewhere inside of me I felt happiness over this new fact, my heart was also gripped by the fear that my feelings of happiness might quickly turn to grief since doctors were unsure how long her life would last.

She had come too early, weighing in at only 2 oz (or 527 grams) and was 11 inches long.

That first night after her birth my entire body ached for her; if only she could return to the safe haven of my womb! I begged the Lord to let her live--trusting that He knew whether that was best for us--or not.

As I write now, I rejoice over the fact that my arms don’t ache to hold her anymore; I gave her hugs and kisses just this morning!

Yet, my heart still breaks for so many parents who are unable to hold their child today, or even worse--unable to hold their child ever again.

~This post is dedicated to every parent whose child has been hospitalized for any length of time as well as to those special parents whose arms and hearts have experienced the unimaginable ache and grief in that of losing a precious baby or child.~ 

My thoughts and prayers go out to each of those parents today.

2 Corinithians 1:3, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;”


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  1. Love this, Rachel! What an incredible story Cami has. How blessed she is to have you for her mother.


  2. Yes, what a story! She has come such a long way!

  3. How wonderful to hold your precious angel. A friend of mine had a baby about your size. I had the wonderful honor of pumping milk and then nursing her (my daughter was four months older) when she was large enough. She is now 31 years old. My youngest child Joey spent 2 weeks in NICU - I spent much time praying and crying with other moms. They never did find out what was wrong with Joey (he had a fever and erractic breathing) and I took home my healthy boy. Bless you!

  4. Rachel,
    I love that you turn the ache you felt back then into compassion and a warm prayer for mothers now who can't hold their child today. We lost my brother when he was 24 and I know my mother aches with the loss.
    May your days be forever blessed,

  5. Oh, that is a wonderful story of prayers answered and aches comforted by a loving God!

  6. amazing story, Rachel!

    You do much better than me writing for 5 minutes! :) it would take me 5 minutes to go back and correct the typos :)

  7. It's Sataurday, but I will add to your post and try to do it in 5 minutes.
    Oh, Rachel, how well I remember that day. I am so thankful the Lord allowed me to be there with you when Cami was born since Rudy was out of the country. I too, had an ache in my heart that day. My heart ached for my It seemed your hopes for a healthy baby had been dashed that day. Little did we realize the long road that lay ahead for you, Rudy, and Cami. Praise the Lord for guidance and direction and for still being with you each and every step of the way. What a miracle God has given our family in little Cami!

    Deut. 33:27 - "The eternal God is thy refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms..."