This Journey Our Life

31 Days of Support—Day 11: How I feel about my daughter’s struggle to communicate {A Poem}

cami's health and progress, Parenting, poetry, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Thoughts and musings, Visual ImpairmentRachel

HandsButton250blogMy daughter’s primary special need is her visual impairment, but this past June she received another diagnosis.  One of her main struggles is in the area of communication.

Several weeks ago, Cami began a new after-school routine on her own. She loves the outdoors, so I wasn’t surprised when she wanted to sit outside before heading in from school; however, when I peered back through the door after turning away briefly, I was surprised to find her sprawled out on the grass!

As I watched quietly from the doorway, a range of emotions filled my heart. 

I didn’t want that moment to end.

Later that night, I tried to express my feelings on paper and they spilled out into a poem.

The Mystery of You

I wish I knew what filled your thoughts
As I watch you lying there
You’re sprawled across the grassy lawn
The breeze sweeping through your hair

A smile spreads across your face
Giving me a tiny clue
Is happiness what fills your thoughts?
I only wish I knew

Laughter echoes across the street
Your squeal sings joyful delight
You bask beneath warm sunshine rays
Drinking up each drop of its light
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I stand back watching silently
The sky above sparkling blue
If you could tell me what you think
I know you would—wouldn’t you?

But your words are not what’s missing
In fact your diction is clear
Your feelings are a mystery
You often struggle to share

We’ve enjoyed some special moments
It seemed a switch turned on
Amazed, we listened as you shared
Then as quickly it came—
Gone.

I wonder, are you frustrated
Over words you wish to say?
Gazing upon you, I question
How long must it be this way?

Peering through this door of glass
Framing snapshots, giving glimpses
Thin and transparent it appears
Yet a gulf stretching between us  
 
Desperately trying to reach beyond
This barrier—a wall between
Attempting to open up the door
Impossible (it seems)

But in this moment of here and now
I’m satisfied with quietly observing
I’m capturing and savoring
Precious memories worth preserving

And I pause for a moment longer
Before choosing to interrupt
For as long as I stand here watching
Watching you is enough.

Your Journey:  How does your child’s particular struggles make you feel?  When you take a step back to observe, what do you see?  Feel free to share your heart in the comments!

rachsig3

Have an extra minute? Click on a box below to check out a three of my blogging friends also participating in the 31 Days series, hosted by the Nester

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